I feel slightly bi-polar as of late. It changes almost daily. I'll have days where all I can think about is how excited I am to go to Zambia and live in a hut and meet new people and work with Africans and I'm in a good mood all day. Today wasn't one of those days. Maybe it was just cause I didn't sleep much last night and had to work 12 hours today and I hate my job (Jan 31st...), but all I could think about today was how hard training is going to be and we have to learn a new language and I studied Econ in college why am I working in Health development and what if the other trainees don't like me and I'm gonna miss the new U2 and REM albums and Radiohead is touring I've never seen them and I don't like spiders what if I see big spiders there and will I pack the right stuff oh crap I haven't started packing yet everyone else is packed and I haven't even started shopping what am I doing I should get a new iPod before I go no that's stupid thats a lot of money to spend on something you don't need and on and on and on...
Deep Breath...
This whole thing is starting to get very real. We leave 5 weeks from today. I am terrified, totally unprepared as of now, but I'm still excited. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow with a better night's sleep, read this and realize this was mostly just crazy talk. The next post will be after a full night's sleep.