Saturday, June 20, 2009

Uuuuuhhhhhh...
It's been quite a couple of weeks. I flew out of Zambia last monday morning, quickly arrived in Joburg and then proceeded to sit for like 10 hours whilst waiting for my overnight flight to Frankfurt. The next morning I arrived in Germany and after a mercifully brief layover I was in the air bound for America. At approx 12:30 local time I touched down. Perhaps my life has involved a 36 hour period that felt longer, but I can't remember one. But,... worth it. Worth it to see and hug my parents for the first time since last February. As we headed towards food my brother called and told me to make my parents take me to a barbecque restaurant where they served a hamburger topped with bbq pulled pork. (!)
The first week was pretty much all about the wedding. After a day to rest on Thurs we headed to Indiana. The next three days were kind of a blur. I saw a ton of people, many of which I had not seen in years, for what seemed like not nearly enough time. The wedding was great. The ceremony went really well, I didn't flub any of my best man duties. I'm not really sure what to say about it. It's hard to sum up everything that comes with a brother's wedding day, but at the end of it I was exhausted but extremely happy that I was able to be there.
After staying an extra day to take my grandparents out to dinner for their 50th, we headed back to MD on monday. It's been pretty relaxed since then. Other than an overnight trip to Ocean City, MD on Thurs/Fri I've just kind of been a bum, watching lots of ESPN, catching upon a year's worth of missed music, and eating. Lots of Eating. It's disgusting. Tomorrow evening I head back, landing back in Zam on Tues night.
I'm trying to process the last 12 days and explain them here, but I'm finding it quite difficult. I've certainly enjoyed my time here, but it's definitely strange. After the wedding a friend asked me if, coming back here after 15 months abroad, my perception of America has changed. Honestly I don't know how it could stay the same. I'm not talking about foreign policy or anything like that, though being out of the country makes you examine what effect American policies have on the rest of the world, and its usually pretty significant. I'm just talking about American culture. I had forgotten that grocery stores here have EVERYTHING or that there's an all you can eat buffet on like every corner or what it's really like to go to a major american tourist destination. I've spent the last 15 months trying to get to the point where living in Zambia feels something like normal, and now America feels less than normal.
So that's that, I think. Sorry if that didn't make much sense. I've had a great time here, I'm glad I came, but I'm not sorry I have to leave again. To all my friends in IL who I didn't get to see, I'm sorry, my tour managers kept a tight schedule and I couldn't really escape, but I'll see you guys definitely next year.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

I'm in Lusaka right now, at an internet cafe. In approximately 18 hours I board an airplane, and approximately 36 hours later I'll land in Washington D.C. For Peace Corps volunteers who make the trip home during their service, no matter the reason, there are a series of inevitable conflicts to deal with. Many volunteers get home, hug their parents, eat mexican food for the first time in months, take a hot shower, watch cable tv, and can't help but feel a certain sense of guilt. Having spent a lengthy amount of time living in a village with people who basically live hand to mouth and will never have the opportunity to just leave for a while like we do, leaving can make PC seem like a fantasy land, a magical place we can pop in and out of that has no place in reality, and maybe that cheapens what we're trying to do here. Many volunteers are overwhelmed. Life moves slow here, there's not much to see or do, and getting to America and being subjected to everything we've gotten used to living without can be a bit much. Volunteers are subjected to the same questions over and over and over again. Yes, we really poop in a hole, yes, malaria is bad, yes, hitching a ride is crazy. And then, by the time we have to come back here, we've grown accustomed to seeing family and friends again every day, and eating good food and having electricity and running water, and we don't wanna leave.
This is not to tell you that I will have all these issues over the next two weeks. And certainly not to tell you all I don't wanna come home tomorrow. Of course I do. It's been all I can think about for the last 4 months. I'm very much looking forward to all of the things I mentioned above possibly happening and believe that whatever stress I feel over the next two weeks will be completely worth it. Basically, what I am trying to say is, those of you who I will be lucky enough to see, go easy on me, and I'll try not to freak out and shut down and go into hiding.
That's all. Tien. See you on the other side.