Sunday, June 7, 2009

I'm in Lusaka right now, at an internet cafe. In approximately 18 hours I board an airplane, and approximately 36 hours later I'll land in Washington D.C. For Peace Corps volunteers who make the trip home during their service, no matter the reason, there are a series of inevitable conflicts to deal with. Many volunteers get home, hug their parents, eat mexican food for the first time in months, take a hot shower, watch cable tv, and can't help but feel a certain sense of guilt. Having spent a lengthy amount of time living in a village with people who basically live hand to mouth and will never have the opportunity to just leave for a while like we do, leaving can make PC seem like a fantasy land, a magical place we can pop in and out of that has no place in reality, and maybe that cheapens what we're trying to do here. Many volunteers are overwhelmed. Life moves slow here, there's not much to see or do, and getting to America and being subjected to everything we've gotten used to living without can be a bit much. Volunteers are subjected to the same questions over and over and over again. Yes, we really poop in a hole, yes, malaria is bad, yes, hitching a ride is crazy. And then, by the time we have to come back here, we've grown accustomed to seeing family and friends again every day, and eating good food and having electricity and running water, and we don't wanna leave.
This is not to tell you that I will have all these issues over the next two weeks. And certainly not to tell you all I don't wanna come home tomorrow. Of course I do. It's been all I can think about for the last 4 months. I'm very much looking forward to all of the things I mentioned above possibly happening and believe that whatever stress I feel over the next two weeks will be completely worth it. Basically, what I am trying to say is, those of you who I will be lucky enough to see, go easy on me, and I'll try not to freak out and shut down and go into hiding.
That's all. Tien. See you on the other side.

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